On Monday, May 19 the doctor called with the results of the lab work—-NORMAL. I thought we were in the clear, in fact, I think we both thought that we were in the clear. Later that afternoon the doctor called again and said that the CT of the chest revealed that the two spots were in fact something, the cells resembled those of testicular cancer. The CT showed cancer not only in both lungs but a large mass of cancer in the spleen which was why Josh’s shoulder had been hurting! Cancer! We thought, OMG why us? Why Josh? How are we going to do that? Josh came home from work immediately and I called in for that night. He got home and we just layed in the bed both crying uncontrollably. We had made an appointment for that afternoon to talk to the doctor in hopes to calm our fears some and figure out the next step. I cried the rest of the night. Josh was very strong for me, ironically! He was strong for me when I needed it and I was determined to be strong for him when he needed it. I just hoped it wasn’t that soon but I, at this point, was emotionally falling apart. I could not grasp what exactly was going on.
Unfortunately, most of us need a little reminder every now and then about what is really important. Something will happen in our lives and we just sort of sit up, slap our foreheads stupidly, and say “DOH! Of course! I knew that, but I forgot that I knew that!” The trouble is that we never know when that’s going to happen and, when it does, it may be too late. If you lose a loved one in a tragic accident, how will you be able to say those things to them that you meant to say but never did? My guess is that you probably don’t have to think very hard to figures out your top priorities in life. Are you taking the time, however short, to think about it? And are you acting accordingly, spending your time and financial resources where it matters the most?
I just got a reminder of my own; my husband of 4 years and 10 months to the day was diagnosed with testicular cancer. After we got the news I felt two profound emotions; fear and gratitude. The fear, of course, was about what the future held. The gratitute was for all the time we have been able to spend together for the past 6+ years.
After his next CT of the abdomen and pelvis we learned that the cancer had spread. When the situation is dire, it’s easy to drop the things that used to be soooooo important and focus on the things that really are. Are your priorities in order? Don’t wait for that giant reminder to come and slap you in the face. The next time you get angry with a loved one, ask yourself if it really matters that much.
It’s easy to forget what’s important. So don’t!
This post was posted on Sunday June 08, 2008 at 8:48PM
